2015 Campaign

Campaigning for the 2015 AZAB Race & Rolex Fastnet Race

Wednesday 9 November 2011

Day 5 - one step at a time

It's 02:30 local time and I'm lying in my bunk wrapped up in a fleece
lined sleeping bag - so cosy. I can hear the sound of the water surging
past only inches from my ear on the other side of the hull. Every time the
boat surfs on a wave the tone of the water changes. But then my dreams
are rudely interrupted by a shake of the shoulder - time to get up. You
might think that 30 mins is ample time to get out of bed and up on deck.
First find socks, hanging from the bunk above me, slightly damp still and
developing a delicate bouquet. The sooner they get stuffed back inside
the boots the better. Sling legs over the bunk - boots where I left them,
clipped together and tied to my bunk. Everything is clipped to the bunk
otherwise the pixie hides them. But don't hang clothes in contact with
the lee cloths. They soak up all the moisture in the atmosphere,
permanently soaked. Sit on floor, pull one leg into salopettes, then the
next leg. Try to lean forward to tighten up the gaiters around the my
boots, pause as the boat rolls one way, wait for the counter roll and go
for it - if I'm quick enough the straps are done before the boat rolls
back again. More often than not it take 2 or three attempts. For each
boot. Need to stand up again, wait for the right roll of the boat, go for
it. Bump, back down on my bum. Try again. Over compensated and end up
head first in my bunk. Hang on and carefully ease my way back out of the
bunk. 5 mins passed already. Eventually salopettes are on. Croc
slippers clipped together on the bunk ready for my return. The fleece
jacket is a breeze to get on. Just as well really as the next major
hurdle is the smock. Trick is to fold the waist up to the chest , both
layers. Pull over head. Half way the boat lunges. Back into my bunk
with arms pinned inside the smock and no way to brace the fall. Boat
lunges back the other way and I'm out of my bunk thrust against the wall
on the other side. Eventually smock is on. 10 mins and I'm still in the
ghetto. Check my grab bag - gloves, warm hat, and buff. Put them on
ready for the charge to the cockpit. Run tne gauntlet of veg alley - mind
the carrots! After 5 mins checking the Nav station I'm ready to climb the
steps and face the Southern Ocean once more - damn, forgot lifejacket.
Back to the Ghetto. Ouch a bruising sideswipe from the broccoli this time.
Beginning to wish I hadn't put the buff on so soon - getting hot and
steamy inside my gear. Eventually I make it to the hatch - climbing one
step at a time like an astronaut returning from a walk on the moon.
Desperate to make it out on deck 10 mins before my watch starts - any
later and the First Mates threaten to start waking you up earlier - dream
time is precious, so with one final herculean effort I thrust myself up
and out onto the cockpit floor. A tumbled heap with arms and legs bent at
unnatural angles. The top of the mountain has been reached, the wind in
my face, the waves surging past the boat. A real sense of achievement.
Only to be smashed to bits as I realise my glasses are still by my bunk.
Aaaarrrggghhhhhhhhhhh g'damnit - veg alley again!

1 comment:

  1. Hilarious, it sounds like a comedy sketch. :-)

    ReplyDelete